A goblet of stuff Parody
by sodchick
Summary: A random recration of the GOF. Not what one would call canon... PARODY


**A/N- A parody involving a classical movie dubbed Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Or sex.**

**That's a really great one too.**

**Disclaimer: **Hi. I don't own ze book or ze movie. Ze accent iz also not mine.

--

Old Man: Who the fuck am I? Random character I guess. I was in the book too but the peeps who were too lazy to read all go WTF.

Peeps who didn't read book: WTF?

Old man: ah well, -dead-

Barty crouch: -flicks tongue- I'MMMMMMMMMA SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.

Em: wrong scene you ditz.

Damn movie put it in.

…

Harry: wholly shit that kettle was left unattended!

Hermione: wheeeeeeeeee. Zomg ron you have no shirt.

Ron: -stoned-

Hermione: bye.

…

Cedric: hi harry. I like slash.

Harry: me too.

Cedric: uh.. ron is your dad gay?

Ron: noooooo…

Cedric: Yeah but he was hitting on me. "strapping young lad…?"

Ron: uh…. Your mom!

…

Quidditch world cup: over.

…

FredandGeorge: -sexy-

…

Big flying horses: -trample hagrid- whoooaaaaa. We're so fucking drunk from all of that damn whiskey.

Ship: -boring-

…

Beauxbatons: -jiggly wiggly- we've got butterflies.

Durmstrang: -break dancing- We've got sticks.

BAM… BAM-BAM HWAH! BAM… BAM-BAM HWAH!

…

first task shit etc.

Harry: wait!

Em: what?

Harry: what about when I'm chosen as champ numbah 4?

Em: oh. Right.

Dumbledore: HARRY FUCKING POTTER! FUCK FUCK FUCK!ONE#$&$

Harry: -sits down-

Ron: -tries to do death glare but isn't really that great of an actor for that kind of shit-

…

Hermione: -owl- dean said that parvati was a virgin but it's a know fact she screwed seamus in the third year so now-

Harry: oO

Hermione: oh, wrong gossip.

Harry: WTF?

Hermione: Hagrids looking for you!

Harry: you're an owl! Burn!

Hermione: nooo… the polyjuice potion made me a cat. Dumbass.

…

Dragon: -dead-

…

Ron: ZOMG sorry Harry. I didn't think that the tournament would be so shitty. I suck at that stuff so it's good you got in and not me. –sentimental-

Harry: awww. Let's have makeup sex?

Hermione: boys.

Britney spears: Boys!

…

Krum: mesa got dah hawt muscles. Herm-own-niny-sex will you go to dah ball with meh?

Hermione: how many times do I have to tell you that's not my name!

Krum: iz dat yes? Okay see you bye!

…

Ball: -here-

Ron: fuck you Hermione krum only wants you for your looks!

Hermione: na-uh.

Ron: ya-huh

Hermione: na-uh

Ron: ya-huh

Hermione: na-uh

Ron: ya-huh

Hermione: na-uh

Ron: ya-huh

Em: damn I should've copy pasted that instead of writing it out.

Hermione: Go to bed!

Ron: fine. I owe Harry make up sex anyways.

…

Cedric: go to the baths. I'll be there.

Harry: nooooooo! Ron'll kill you man!

Cedric: No way. I'm more of a man then him! Do you know how much moral strength one has to have in order to put up with Cho's damn crying?

Harry: I will.

Cedric: Bye!

…

Myrtle: If only I wasn't a ghost. I could seduce you.

Harry: nu-uh

Myrtle: ya-huh

Harry: nu-uh

Myrtle: ya-huh

Harry: -dives under water-

Harry: -gets erection from the mermaid song-

Myrtle: told you so!

Harry: -gathers bubbles-

…

under water scene blah blah blah.

…

maze blah blah blah.

…

Moody: you forgot about me.

Em: oh… right. Uuuuh.

Moody: add me damn it!

Em: …

Moody: constant vigilance!

Em: There!

…

Cedric: -attacted by roots-

Harry: damn it those trees are bitches.

Cup: cooooooooome to meeeeeeeeeee.

Cedric: mine!

Harry: nu-uh

Cedric: ya-huh

Harry: nu-uh

Cedric: ya-huh

Harry: nu-uh

Krum: SHARE!

Cedric: oui!

Harry: fine.

Graveyard: -there-

Voldemort: hey!

Cedric: cool!

Harry: ruuuuuuuuuuuun.

Wormtail: avadakedavra!

Cedric: -dead-

FredandGeorge: wicked!

Voldemort: I'm going to my Jacuzzi now, suckers!

Wormtail: a dog bone!

Wormtail: -cuts off hand- that doesn't hurt. Who cares! I won't express pain. I'll just vut harry.

Harry: ow. –Shows more pain then wormtail from a small scratch-

Wormtail: you look emo, boooooooy.

Voldemort: alive.

Darkmark: -ins sky-

Death Eater peeps: yoyoyo. We're here!

Em: what the hell's with the hats?

Voldemort: shrug

Em: … BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Voldemort: die harry! Buuuuuuuurn!

Harry: -shoots stuff out of his wand-

Voldemort: whoa that looks like an erection.

Lily and James: Hi Harry. Sup?

Harry: I'm just dieing and stuff.

James: cool. Do you like my widow's peak?

Lily: we both need to get face lifts. We look ancient.

Cedric: BTW take my body.

Harry: why? So I can sexually abuse it?

Cedric: w/e.

Harry: accio cup! –gone-

Voldemort/harry/ced'sdad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Cedric'sdad: my boy! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Harry: wah. Wah. –bad at crying.

…

Moody: -barty crouch- -flicks tongue-

Dumbledore: Your mom!

Barty: I'll show you mine if you show me yours!

All: expose penises

All: oO

THE END.

**A/N- Review.**

**Or I'll kill you.**

**Or something.**


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